A lot of people still talk about gaming like it’s “wasted time.” But in a recent conversation on the Puzzle Exchange Podcast, something landed hard for me:
For some gamers, the game world isn’t the problem — it’s the only place they feel safe.
In real life, they may feel judged, misunderstood, or constantly “not measuring up.” But in games, there are clear rules, a sense of control, and a chance to try again after failure — a built-in permission to learn.
Why games can feel safer than real life
Therapist Sekayi Edwards shared that many of the gamers he works with don’t necessarily lack strength — they’re often strong in the game world, and the pain comes from how little that strength is seen or valued elsewhere.
Games can offer structure, agency feedback, repair.
And importantly: many games are designed to teach you as you go — they show you what skills you’re missing, then give you a path to build them. Real life often doesn’t.
“Learn their language”: gaming as culture
One of my favorite moments from the conversation: the idea that gaming isn’t just a hobby — it’s a culture, with its own language. Sekayi even runs workshops for parents to understand that culture so they can actually engage with what their kids are showing them.
As an acupuncturist, I see a parallel: healing starts when we stop forcing someone to speak our language, and start listening for theirs.
Sometimes the most regulating thing you can say to a gamer isn’t “play less.”
It’s: “Show me your world.”
The Chinese medicine view: safety regulates Qi
In Chinese medicine, we don’t separate “mind” and “body” the way modern culture often does.
When someone feels chronically unsafe — judged, on edge, bracing for criticism — it doesn’t just stay in their head. It shows up as patterns like:
- restless sleep, vivid dreams
- tension headaches / neck and shoulder tightness
- digestive sensitivity (especially under stress)
- chest tightness, sighing, irritability
- fatigue that doesn’t fix itself with rest
In TCM language, you’ll often hear concepts like:
- Shen (spirit/mental-emotional stability; often discussed through the Heart system)
- Liver Qi (flow, flexibility, frustration when “stuck”)
- Spleen Qi (digestion + overthinking loops)
Here’s the bridge:
If the game world is where someone’s nervous system finally gets a sense of structure + agency, their body may soften there for the first time all day. That “softening” matters. Regulation is not laziness — it’s biology.
Local test booking. No email is sent.
Talk to Dr. Deb before you decide.
“She's the first doctor that made me feel human and not like just another nameless number.”
GC, on Zocdoc
What’s included
- Discuss your health concerns and goals
- Address any questions before committing to your first appointment
- We'll determine the best approach
Loading available times…
See other times
Pick a time
Times in Pacific time (San Francisco).
When gaming helps… and when it backfires
Gaming can be a confidence builder. It can also become a survival strategy that accidentally shrinks life.
A gentle way to tell the difference is to ask:
After gaming, do you feel more resourced — or more depleted?
Sekayi talked about how games can build “resources” (skills and supports) that help people handle stress, and how role-play can become a safe way to practice growth.
That’s the sweet spot: the game becomes training — not hiding.
A “mini-quest” I give gamers in clinic
If you’re a gamer (or love one), here’s a simple practice that blends gamer logic with body awareness:
The 90-second Reset (between matches / after a loss):
- Drop your shoulders and unclench your jaw.
- Put one hand on your chest, one on your belly.
- Inhale 4 seconds, exhale 6 seconds — repeat 5 times.
- Ask: _Where is the tension? What does it need?
_warmth? movement? water? a snack? a short walk?
It’s small — but it trains your body to come back online.
If you want an acupressure add-on (gentle, not medical advice):
- Yintang (between the eyebrows) for mental settling
- Pericardium 6 (inner wrist, three finger-widths below the crease) for stress + chest tightness
- Large Intestine 4 (between thumb/index) for tension — avoid if pregnant
For parents: don’t “rage-quit” the relationship
If gaming is creating conflict at home, consider this reframe from the conversation: both sides often want the same thing — confidence, connection, a kid who thrives — but they don’t know how to communicate across worlds.
Try these instead of lectures:
- “What makes you feel good about playing this game?”
- “Who do you wish to be in the game? Why?”
- "What would your character do if they …?"
You don’t have to get it perfectly. The willingness to try is huge.
A closing thought from the Bay
I love living in Silicon Valley / San Francisco for this reason: you meet healers who take people seriously — including the parts of them that mainstream culture labels “weird.”
If you’re in San Francisco and you’re curious about supporting your nervous system through acupuncture — especially around stress, sleep, digestion, or tension patterns that show up alongside intense screen time — I’d love to meet you.
And if you’re also exploring therapy modalities that speak “gaming,” Sekayi’s work is a beautiful reminder that healing can be creative, strength-based, and culturally fluent.